Self-compassion
Self-compassion has been one of the most studied topics in psychology. Scientific studies show that the practice of self-compassion is even more important in personal development than self-esteem (Kristin Neff, 2009). There is more, self-compassion is positively associated with wisdom, optimism, and happiness. Want to know more? Learn in this article the definition, elements, barriers, and the 5 steps to cultivating self-compassion.
Definition
Self-compassion involves sensitivity to the experience of suffering accompanied by the desire to alleviate it. According to Kristin Neff, who is an authority on the topic, self-compassion is simply compassion directed toward ourselves. Instead of judging and criticizing ourselves for inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion teaches us to be kinder and more understanding when confronted by personal failures – After all, whose voice is telling you to be perfect?
Elements
Formed by 3 elements, self-compassion focuses on the development of kindness, humanism, and mindfulness, which I explore in more detail.
Kindness: It means being kind and caring for ourselves in the same way we care for others. The goal is to comfort one's suffering by relieving pain.
Humanism: Humanism teaches us to understand our own experience as part of the common human experience. Recognize that we all make mistakes, fail, and go through painful situations in life.
Mindfulness: It is another topic that has been widely studied in current psychology and used in the third wave of therapies in the United States. His scientific studies prove that the practice of mindfulness affects brain functioning, presenting benefits to our health as well as positively influencing human behavior. But what does it mean? Nothing more than staying in the present, at the moment, paying attention to our thoughts and behaviors without judging ourselves. We can also understand from another perspective. For example, the opposite of mindfulness is mindlessness. Stop to think about the last 24 hours when you were not present at the moment. Watching TV, scrolling your phone or even eating, all without paying attention. The opposite of these behaviors is being or being mindful.
Barriers to Awareness
When we ignore or suppress pain, we create barriers to self-knowledge. The tendency to ignore pain is a human factor, after all, no one wants to experience pain. When ignored, negative emotions can turn into dysfunctional behaviors and the development of ineffective strategies. Pain avoidance behavior can result, for example, in substance abuse, binge eating, and social withdrawal. Another common factor when we ignore and suppress pain is the focus on solving the problem, without understanding and accepting the situation that generated it. But how is it possible to try to solve the problem if we know what the problem is and how bad the pain is?
Benefits
The practice of self-compassion highlights our personal qualities, facilitates self-knowledge, and development of resilience, in addition to improving our relationships and quality of life! Self-compassion also helps us feel more connected and less isolated, especially when we are going through periods of pain and suffering. We feel happier and less stressed, and we reduce self-criticism, anxiety, and even perfectionism.
5 Steps to Cultivating Self-Compassion
Practice mindfulness
Accept yourself as a human being
Be kind to yourself
Stop and think about basic needs if they are being met
Seek professional help
Barriers to Developing Self-Compassion
Pain initially increases. We must understand that the situation is complicated, we need to allow ourselves and accept the situation as it is. The process requires patience, we must also allow ourselves to be slow in learning, being aware that each individual has their way of exercising self-compassion
References
Neff, K. (2009). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
